Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
