So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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