Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think I sprained my soul last night
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
