we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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