what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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