Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
