I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
