a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
