just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
