so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize
