Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
