from now on my penis is your penis
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
