dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
