I CAN MOONWALK!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
