I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
