i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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