I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
