I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
