my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize