I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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