He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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