Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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