doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
