if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize