Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
