i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
