dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
