So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize