I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
