But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
