why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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