He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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