Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
