so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
