So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
