Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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