And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
