we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
