I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
