Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
