mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
