I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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