is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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