Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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