What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
