There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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