forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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