Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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