My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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