It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
