If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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