we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize