I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize