Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We’re leaving where are you
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