Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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