No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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