Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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