Barsexuality is the new black.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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