hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
